The OP and a few others raises some valid points from a "learners perspective".
What i mean is someone who's not familiar with the workflow (or laravels reiterations in general) and is just trying to follow along through the documentation / laracast videos could get confused conceivably if they're trying to roll their own laravel distro (to paraphrase a linux concept).
Both the aforementioned official resources show inherent bias towards doing things one way or the other without much or any emphasis on providing a comprehensive range of alternatives (which is of course their right, they are not a humongous entity like lynda.com, and they have no obligation to do so).
I can understand this frustration as i've faced it myself way back when elixir first became a thing.
(storytime kids, can skip to tac tac)
When it was first introduced i was on a win7 machine and because node at that time didn't have package leveraging, dependency structures within node_modules became highly nested and as a result the 260 char path limit (windows) could was not honored and i couldn't use elixir.
It was frustrating as hell because i had just started learning laravel and in laracasts videos i would always see Jeff or Taylor one-lining-it with a config via elixir and everything would just magically work. As such i was forced to learn gulp for myself and config my own automated workflow.
Before Jeffs series on SOLID and further investigating the concept i also never understood why anyone would bother to use gulp (which is an API in itself) and then create another API (elixir) on top of it?
Always seemed like a useless abstraction to me, thankfully "Uncle Bob" Martin set me straight on the importance of polymorphism/interfaces and following that train of thought it's easy to see why elixir was created.
But i digress.
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All that said, the OP has made it clear they have used laravel for quite some time i.e. they are not someone brand new... making all this a little confusing because it should mean they are aware they can edit package.json before running install and can remove/change any front end dependencies they want.
If you want to be even lazier still, just alter the package.json once and at that point push to your own git repo to be cloned at your convenience when you need to start a new project with all the packages pre-config'd.
Furthermore in saying the following :
"I want the old laravel back the one that I put neck on the line for.. the one that was a backend framework for php not a backend framework with a favorite front end framework."
The OP has completely disregarded the presence of lumen.
Points for rant of the month, but mostly untrue.