simple as it can be will cause the error.
Model::where('FirstName','LIKE',$first_name.'%')->first();
That's simplified of course.
And I realized I can do this on a one by one basis, but this can potentially hit every single string query that I've ever written....that touches the MSSQL.
Extending part of the Model, or writing a different eloquent model to correct this parsing issue is the simplest and easiest way to catch all the potential problems.
But the simplist solution at present is to not use MSSQL to check customer accounts against. It's a slightly delayed process to create account stubs in mysql where I can escape properly without rewriting the code.
It doesn't prevent any potential breaking down the line for future MSSQL queries, but it at least solves the issue here and a few other operational issues on the business side.