This is why one write to a form. As soon as the question is posted, you'll find the answer by yourself ;)
First an foremost: The Problem does not apply only to listeners with ShouldQueue but to all listeners.
The approach to disable the event discovery was wrong.
As you can see, the EventServiceProvider inherits from the one the framwork provides. (Illuminate\Support\ServiceProvider)
The framwork-EventServiceProvider does have the shouldDiscoverEvents-method as well as a disableEventDiscovery-method.
If this second one is called before any event registration in the boot-method, only the manual registration is used an therefor only on listener is registered as well as only one job is dispatched.
class EventServiceProvider extends ServiceProvider
{
/**
* Register any events for your application.
*/
public function boot(): void
{
$this->disableEventDiscovery();
Event::listen(
DeleteTriggerReceived::class,
ProcessDeleteTrigger::class,
);
Event::listen(
UpdateTriggerReceived::class,
ProcessUpdateTrigger::class,
);
}
}