Hi everyone, thanks for your input.
It makes me realize that its indeed about experience and using a provider to really see if they are good or not. And you can not really tell how good your provider is unless you run into some real shit.
I setup a website for a financial services company, forex , integrated with 4-5 different systems and 8-10 payment gateways etc etc. They setup a server at rack-space as i advised them but they soon transferred to another provider since they were like 20% cheaper. When they were under a DDOS attache they provided zero help, we had to figure things on our own. They moved to another provider and when we had some issues with the server setup they insisted its was a programming error ( which can never be wrong :) ) but after serval called and tickets a days later they fixed it after realizing it was some apache configuration causing the problem. Then they moved to another provider which one day said the hard drive died, they that the policed got it, i never found what really happened. They had zero backups or anything to help! Luckily i had recent copies on my laptop i used for development and i saved the day restoring 3 sites and 20-30 databases. They lost some data but got back operational after a day! of course here it was their fault of not setting up a fault tolerant solution but what gives.
I am with rack-space for ten years now and surely their servers are expensive but the thing with rack-space is that you are not buying the bare server specs! you are buying into the reliability and managed services rack-space offers. i get daily incremental backups for the whole server. i get monitoring, i get hardware firewall, i get technicians to solve easy weird problem you will find on top of constantly knowing that someone is looking after my server in terms of security and keeping it up to date.
My problem is that I can't afford moving to another provider to save 30% or even 50% of my server costs and loose my big clients when there is a big issue and it take several hours or days to resolve.
Yesterday i was looking at http://www.softlayer.com servers and when i selected the save server and backups and everything i get from rack-space it ended up costing more, and when i talked with their support they basically said that the servers are self managed. They said they do provide support if there are problems but I would be expected to mostly manage the server myself. They dint convince me on the level of support i would be getting!
The problem with most dedicated server providers i look into its not if they are cheap or expensive but most of the time is hard to tell what level of support they will be able to provide to help you run your business trouble free and effectively. And am not talking about hosting 2-3 sites on a server but 100+ small business websites with many of them relying on their websites and emails i provide to do business!